What I Think About Microsoft Publisher, And A Limerik

Boosh, blown up bits of bananas! I’m sorry I didn’t post yesterday, but I traveled all day, catching a 7:18 AM train, catching a smaller ‘subway’ type train at ten-ish, figuring out how to get the car from the rental car place a ten minute’s walk away, eating lunch after cramming six people (counting the rental car guy, who was kind enough to drive the car to us) into a Toyota Corolla, going to a party from noon to four, catching the ‘subway’ train back the big station at five, eating Wetzel’s Pretzels for dinner as we waited for the 7:15 PM train home, climbed onto that train, and high-balled it home, and got in bed at 9:00. (High-balling is a train term; it means there is no freight traffic, and the train can move as fast as possible. Rather frightening, because you clatter and sway the whole stinkin’ way home, but ‘wow’ fast)

Yeah.

Did I mention that I had people over the night before, until 10:30 PM?

über yeah.

Did I say that I walked about a mile along a riverbed (detour, taken by my party host) to a dry resiervour, where I walked/ran to the other side, climbed up the hill, climbed down, and walked a mile back?

über über yeah.

To quote ‘the Ninja’ from ‘Ask The Ninja’, “It was hilarious.”

That took 221 words. And that’s just the beginning of this post. (Evil grin, devil horns and tail)

What I just said added to 221 and made 238 words.

Now 247.

248.

249.

Blah.

IMMA FIRIN’ MA LAZOR!

 sORRY. Sorry, I still had Caps Lock on. Let’s get to the real stuff.

Microsoft Publisher 2003 is a great program. With its divine, Word-like programming, it’s kind of easy to figure out how to use it. About six months ago I found it. I ran test-blogs with it, getting ready to start a WordPress blog. That’s where I got ‘use the same letter for each month’ idea. You can also use Publisher to make cards. I mean like birthday cards. Ones that look like they were from Hallmark, but they only cost as much as some ink and some poster board to print it with, plus an envelope from your Secret Secret Envelope Stash. Publisher prints the cards to fold, so you should fold them over and glue them in place, to stop being confusing HEY!.

Microsoft Publisher will also make you personalized business cards, whether you have business or not (if you don’t have business, they are called calling cards) , menus, envelopes, certificates, brochures, labels, letter heads, post cards, play programs, signs, banners, paper-folding projects (like paper airplanes, which surprised me), calenders, forms, advertisements, as well as websites.  You can set up your publication with whatever color you like, what font you like, what orientation you like, and what insignia you want. If you can use Microsoft Word and Paint, then Publisher shouldn’t be to hard for you. It’s not like Photoshop Elements 3.

Ta-da! I did it, I did it, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I finished this blog post, I finished this blog post, oh yeah just comment NOW! To complete this, I will break out with a…limerik!

The Blogger

There once was a blogger who could

not post, she just ate lots of pud’

She wrote about cards,

then sighed very hard,

saying, “I really must post this, I should!”

 

Now you know what I go through before each post, only I don’t like pudding. ~Aidyl

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